Eating Alone Is Hard

For a person who has lost a life partner, a husband or a wife, mealtime is often the most challenging time of their day. It is sometimes difficult to muster the desire or skill necessary for meal preparation. Sometimes it is just hard to deal with the expanse of the table when no one else is sharing the space. So, it becomes too much trouble to cook for one or to eat alone.

For the friend who wants to be supportive, there are also challenges. Sometimes we worry that we are not up to challenge. We worry about the conversation … will we know the right thing to say? On the other hand, one may have good intentions but inviting someone over for dinner can make you feel you need to cook something special, or clean the house, or bring in another guest to round out the numbers. So inviting your grieving friend to dinner gets put off.

If you want to support a grieving friend, consider doing something different.

1. The morning coffee. Maybe it is a regular weekly occurrence combined with some form of exercise. A short walk, yoga, or water aerobics followed by coffee and a chat. Or, organize a drop-in group at your local coffee shop for folks who would appreciate a morning boost with a small group of friendly faces.

2. Lunch … lunch is such an underappreciated meal out. Less costly than dinner; it’s a great option. The conversation is just as exhilarating, and it provides a nice break in the day. It is something to look forward to and if you have a big lunch, dinner can just be cheese and crackers. It can also be easier to pull together a small group of two or three for lunch than it is for dinner.

3. A seal-a-meal dinner prep gathering … pull together a few friends who often eat alone or who would just enjoy an occasional night off of dinner prep. Prepare a few different meals in a large enough quantity to divide among the group. Consider cooking some things that are not likely to be prepared for one. Meatloaf, stew, or scalloped potatoes might be too much to make for one person but might be a welcome comfort food. Seal the meals in individual packages for freezing. Everyone takes home a few ready-made dinners and everyone enjoys the company of friends while making the meals.

4. Lower your standards. Invite your grieving friend to share your regular weeknight supper. Nothing special - just what you would be serving anyway. Soup and a sandwich, a little pasta, or just a burger will be just fine. It’s your company that will appreciated. The good dishes or the special dessert is not important at all. Just your face across the table and an opportunity to talk about the mundane happenings of the day will do the trick.

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