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Three Ways to Support Someone Who is Grieving in Isolation

December 31, 2021

Grief is difficult in perfectly normal times. However, when a global pandemic has us isolated, we lose two important comfort and coping mechanisms. Hugs are very hard to come by these days. In normal times the physical touch of a hug fills the vacuum when a person who loves another is at a loss for words but wants to show they care. Those who are grieving now, isolated and alone, have also lost another important coping mechanism. Distraction, via activity, is lost to many. Bridge groups are not meeting, church services and events are cancelled, volunteer activities have been suspended, all leaving mourners with many hours to pass alone.

If you know someone who has experienced a recent loss, look for a way to offer support and show you care. Three suggestions are:

1. Use your words. Make it easy, use the phone, make a call. For many, some of the newer technologies like Zoom and FaceTime may be frustrating. When a person is in the throes of grief learning something new can feel as realistic as climbing a mountain on a whim. While it’s great to see a face, being available to listen and to just talk is valuable. Make it easy. Make it regular. Set up a regular call time like coffee on Monday morning, cocktails at five on Friday, or lunch on Wednesday. A regular repeating time has the added benefit of giving both the caller and the person who is coping with grief something to look forward to. The more “you get together” the less you need to worry about what to say and what not to say. Conversation will become natural and will expand beyond the loss.

2. Offer to help where you can. Sometimes folks who are grieving get stuck. They are overwhelmed by a long list of little tasks that may seem simple to the rest of us. Where can I take the clothes? How do I safely discard medicine? How do I change the furnace filter? How do I get these leaves raked? Even the grocery store can feel overwhelming. Ask how you can help. Make a few suggestions. Keep in mind some people are not comfortable accepting help. Offer to do something specific. If that offer is not accepted, next time ask in an open-ended way such as “where could you use help”? If all else fails, just show up and pull the weeds.

3. Do something kind and unexpected. Bring dinner, buy a flower, put on your mask and offer a ride to the cemetery. Send a journal. Think cozy and warm. Drop off a hot chocolate kit, a mini pie, a scented candle or warm socks. Be creative. Show you care and be kind.

www.billowfuneralhomes.com

Since 1875, The Billow Funeral Homes & Crematory has been providing world-class care to the families of northeastern Ohio. Family-owned and operated, Billow’s has two full-service facilities in Fairlawn and Cuyahoga Falls as well as a privately owned crematory. The team at Billow’s is passionate about providing unmatched care for both families and their loved ones. For more information, visit billowfuneralhomes.com.

What Are Burial Vaults and Grave Liners and Why Do I Have to Buy Them?

February 4, 2025
When saying goodbye to someone you love, you have a multitude of decisions to make. Some you might be prepared for, while other questions are new to you. One topic that many people are unfamiliar with is the concept of burial vaults and grave liners, which you may have to have in your loved one’s final resting place.

Food and Funerals: The Comfort of Sharing a Meal

February 4, 2025
Food not only nourishes the body but also comforts the soul, making it a significant part of funeral traditions. Offering food signifies care and supports the healing journey during such tough times.

Understanding Funeral Costs: A Guide to Planning with Care

January 8, 2025
When the time comes to think about funeral arrangements, one of the first questions many of us have is, "How much will it cost?" It’s natural to look for a straightforward answer during such an emotionally charged time. However, much like finding the perfect car, the cost of a funeral varies widely depending on personal choices and specific needs.

What Is the Purpose of Embalming?

January 8, 2025
Embalming can be a controversial topic. Some people are opposed to it, whether due to personal or religious reasons, but for others, embalming is an important part of starting their grief journey and getting a chance to say goodbye to the person they love.

Dressing for a Funeral: Comfort, Respect, and What to Wear

January 8, 2025
Attending a funeral is one of those things that makes everyone pause, not just because of the emotional weight, but also the big question: "What do I wear?" Let’s discuss.

Embracing Family in Funeral Planning

January 8, 2025
When it comes time to say goodbye to a loved one, the focus of the funeral often naturally falls on the family. It's the people who loved and knew the deceased best—spouses, children, grandchildren, friends, and even coworkers—who come together to remember and honor their life.

When Someone Dies, Someone Else Feels Lonely

December 3, 2024
The loneliness that accompanies the death of someone we care about is complex and individual. For those who, for many years, woke every morning alongside a husband or wife, it is strange to open your eyes and realize you’re alone. In the early days of grief, the void that is left when a life partner dies can feel like a black hole with no way out.

I’m Lonely: When is Too Soon to Start Dating?

November 12, 2024
The answer to this question depends on who you ask. Queen Victoria famously mourned Prince Albert by wearing black for the remainder of her life, forty years. The fictional character Scarlet O’Hara in the novel Gone With the Wind scandalized her peers by dancing with a bachelor at a charity event while “still in black.”

After the Death of a Spouse: 10 Things to Do BEFORE You Start Dating

November 12, 2024
Slow down and commit to investing some time in getting ready to date. A little preparation work will help you protect your safety, have a more pleasurable dating experience, and possibly avoid heartbreak.

Make Sure the Tough Days Are Covered

November 12, 2024
Supporting a friend who is grieving requires staying power. In the first few weeks and days following the funeral, our thoughts are full of our friend. But often, as the weeks become months, our friend’s need is less acute, and our own routine calls us. We forget.
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